Hello fellow Team No Sleep, Warriors!
These thoughts of baby sleep deprivation have been rattling around in my brain for a while now and they are itching to get out. I hear moms say constantly, "How do I get my baby to sleep longer?" "I can't survive without more sleep!" "If I do cry-it-out will my baby sleep through the night?" and any thousands of variations on those themes. Well, I am here today to challenge you AND myself (since I know I will be wanting to eat my words as soon as this new baby arrives!). It's time to change the perspective that we have on sleep and especially how we approach this lack of sleep.
Most moms have heard it all, "this sleep method is perfect", "My baby does x,y,z so yours can too!" "they aren't sleeping through the night yet?? But they're already three months!" I am not going to talk about any of these methods because every. single. little. baby. is completely different and needs to be approached that way. I have my own ideas about sleep that have worked great for my littles, but it is not my job to place those ideas on other moms. What I AM going to talk about though, is privilege.
Yes, that nasty little word that we like to ignore all the time, but really encompasses our entire lives. When we talk about not getting enough sleep, that is real and it is valid, and it is OK to be tired. What is hard to hear is that even with our lack of sleep-- we are some of the most privileged people in the entire world.
Think about what it means for you to get a "good night's sleep". Does it mean 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep? A comfy mattress? Being the right temperature? Not having to listen to a snoring husband or crying baby? I can tell you right now that even expecting these things is a privilege. The majority of the world does NOT have a comfy, expensive mattress to sleep on. They don't have the option of an uninterrupted nights sleep because they are surrounded by the sounds of gunfire, bombs, screaming. They have no blankets or temperature control through the blistering summers or frigid winters, other than the warmth of each other. Bedsharing is not optional, it is 100% necessary. There is no nursery or crib for babies to sleep away from their parents. Breastfeeding is not optional either- it is a means of baby's survival. There is no access to clean water or money for expensive formula.
Yet- women are giving birth through this, they are feeding babies through this, and they are surviving on probably less sleep than we can even imagine through all of these hardships.
Can we not at least acknowledge our privilege? Can we step back from our own exhaustion and start to see things from another perspective? I am blessed to have an amazing mattress to sleep on. I am blessed to have a quiet place to rest while baby is sleeping (after kicking the snoring hubby out to the couch). I am blessed that I don't have to live in fear over my family's survival. I am blessed to be able to choose whether to sleep with my child, or put them in a crib. I am blessed to have the choice between breastfeeding or formula feeding my children. I AM BLESSED ABUNDANTLY.
This is not to ever shame any mom for feeling tired or overwhelmed or needing a break. This are valid, normal feelings. But maybe next time instead of "I can't survive without more sleep!" We can come from a place of "my sleep may not be perfect, but my healthy baby, safe home, and healthy family are a blessing and I will cling to that". It may just help you get more sleep at night <3.
Coming to you from the deepest depths of sleep deprivation- this is Stephanie Palaad, Over and Out!
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