Commitment

My best friend told me today that she checks my blog for a new update every day so I have decided to try to commit to writing every day.  After a busy day like today, it is difficult but I also love being able to share Penny with all of you.

I have decided my daughter is incredible.  She is already able to hold her head up on her own and can even turn her head to look at things.  She has started to make those adorable baby noises that make your heart melt and her smile makes you feel like the most important person in the world.  If you asked me right in this moment, exhaustion and all, I would say that being a parent is the most incredible thing in the world.  I hope I keep this mindset through all of the challenges that we may face in the future.

I have heard that there is a research study that suggests that people with children are less happy than their peers who do not have children.  I am going to completely disagree with this study, but I have to admit, I probably would have agreed with it a few weeks ago.  I think the biggest adjustment you go through as a new parent is the death of your old life.  It is so strange having to suddenly have another human being constantly attached to you, and it can be incredibly overwhelming sometimes.  In the first few weeks, I would sometimes sit and think about how my life would be at that point if Penny wasn't with us yet.  I wouldn't long for it per se, but I definitely figured that it would be easier.  Now?  I feel like my life is perfect.  And by perfect I mean that I have never been so happy in my life.  Penny is the best blessing I could have ever asked for.  You have to let these other "what if" questions die before you can allow yourself to truly enjoy the life in front of you.  It is okay to imagine what it would be like, healthy even.  It lets you compare and recognize what truly makes you happy.  I was content with my job and my freedom and my responsibilities.  Now I am joyful, love-filled, and more happy than I ever thought I could be.  THAT is what makes people with children happier than their peers.  Yes, life is definitely more difficult, but is it better? Heck, yeah.

I don't think everyone will completely agree with that, and I don't think everyone should.  Some people simply don't want to have children and that is totally fine.  If you don't want kids, don't let anyone tell you that you need to have them.  It is a lifelong commitment and if you don't want it, it's better not to just do it for other people.  For those of my friends who are yet to have kids, I am so excited for you.  My mom kept saying to me "honey, this will pass" when things were difficult and she was right.  Now, I am just trying to savor every single moment of my life with her because, cliche as it is, it is going WAY too fast.

Ken and I went on an awesome hike yesterday morning... or should I say I dragged him on a hike after he had been working all night.  We went for an hour and a half with Penny in the Ergo and she slept the entire way!  Like I said, she is awesome.  Oh and crying? Pretty much a thing of the past.  Penny now only cries about 30 minutes a day, total.  I think this is partly thanks to the sleep program we have her on and partly just her sweet temperament.  Here is the view from the top of the hill on our hike.  There really are some beautiful places to hike in this area.

Hulda Crooks Park (79 days till the race... I am hoping to be able to run these hills soon)

Here are some more pics of little Penelope from the last couple days.  She is 7 weeks and two days now!

 Penny was happy to be in her car seat for the first time in her life.

 Relaxin' and making little curls in the bath..

 All smiles during play time.

 Ken is hiding her in the laundry baskets hahaha.  All I hear is "come find me mommy!" and I found her sitting in there.  I laughed so hard because she was just happy and chillin.

Insomnia and Training ~ 81 Days to Beast Mode

I know it was only day two, but I had to take a rest day yesterday.  My favorite friend, Aunt Flow, came back to visit and it had me down for the count.  I am hoping it is simply leftover placenta that was loosened by the exercise, but I have a feeling it isn't.  After 10 months, this was not a pleasant surprise and I was hoping it would hold off a bit longer because I'm breastfeeding but no such luck.

I am also fortunate enough to be having insomnia for the last two nights.  Basically I can't sleep until 1 am... NOT helpful when you have a little baby.  Ken is feeling the burn as well and the exhaustion keeps piling on.  We are trying to be really good to our bodies and rest when we can find the time.

Penny gets more awesome by the day. This little girl is stealing our hearts (as if she hasn't already).  She smiles ALL the time and is just such a happy baby.  We have been trying some new breastfeeding positions and found one that we both seem to like.  Penny has been a little fussy while feeding, I think due to the thrush, but we found a new position that she seems to really like and I like it too because I can hear her swallowing and I know she is getting food.  Other than keeping me on my toes by not wanting to sleep alone at night, she is simply the best.  Ken and I are having a blast watching her grow and discover new things.  She seems to enjoy her changing table the most and always smiles and makes cute noises at the little painting hanging on the wall beside her.  She is fascinated by it.  It is incredible how her whole face changes when she smiles, it is the best thing in the entire world.

The quote says "Just to be in the world with you is enough".  Love it!

My workout goals today are to do another Moms on the Move Aquatic Aerobics class and body weight exercises as follows:

2 Sets:

10 push-ups

10 single-leg raises

10 squats

10 crunches

20 seconds side plank

Stretch: Yoga Flow

Aaaand, my least favorite part of the day: logging food

Breakfast:

1 Banana 100 cal

1 peach 60 cal

Frosted Flakes w/ half cup milk 180 cal

Not the healthiest breakfast but I will do better tomorrow.  Total Cal: 340 cal

Lunch:

1 cup Greek Yogurt w/ tbsp honey 200

1 Dr. Pragers veggie burger patty 110

1 avocado 330 

1 tortilla 140

15 cherry tomatoes 30

2 cups of Spinach Salad w/ dressing and croutons 170

Lunch Total: 980

Dinner

2 Tilapia Filets 340

3/4 cup cooked rice 170

2 Veggie Lumpia 400

1/2 pack Edamame 80

Dinner Total: 990

Daily Total: 2,310... I added 20 calories, wooohooo! haha

Love,

Steph

Training: Day 1 ~ 83 Days till the Spartan Beast

I have my 6 week postpartum appointment today where I will get the "okay" to start working out again!!

How do you train for a 15+ mile race in 83 days, starting from practically nothing?  You just start at square one I guess.  Pregnancy really threw me for a loop where fitness is concerned.  I was hoping to continue working out during pregnancy but the polyhydramnios really held me back.  It was difficult walking a mile.  My knees and back ached constantly and it was a good reminder to make sure I am good to my body for the rest of my life because the extra weight put so much strain on me.  I am moving forward though.

I would say my greatest fear is getting injured.  The stakes are so much higher now.  An injury would not just spell disaster for my training, but also for taking care of Penny.  I had a nerve in my upper back get pinched the other night and that fear came into sharp focus when I realized I could not pick my daughter up, and of course I was alone because Ken was working the night shift.  Luckily, a quick call to him and he was able to run home on his break and rub my back out for me.  I am going to work on getting my core strength back so that I have a good jumping off point.

I'm going to start off slow and work my way up.  My goal is to go on at least two 1-2 mile runs this week.  That should be interesting considering I literally haven't gone on a run in about 11 months.

My workout for today:

One hour walk with my daughter in the ergo.
Mom's On the Move Aquatic Fitness class
20 squats
20 leg lifts
20 crunches

A word on the food...

I am going to log my food (mostly for myself). I have to be eating between 2500 and 2700 calories a day because I am breastfeeding and working out in order to keep my milk supply up.  I am going to be completely honest, and I never in my life thought I would say this, but it is going to be difficult to eat that much food in one day, especially with a baby needing most of my attention.  I know how important my milk supply is though, so I am going to do my best to pack my diet with healthy foods (and by "diet" I don't mean "going on a diet" I mean the food that I am eating).

I will update this throughout the day

Breakfast:

2 double fiber English muffins 240 cal
3 eggs 270 cal
1 tbsp jelly 50 cal
1 apple 80

Breakfast Calorie Count: 640

Lunch:

4 Chicken meatballs 170
1 Cup Plain Nonfat Greek Yogurt w/ tbsp honey 200
1 Bag Frozen Edamame 160
2 Cups Spinach Salad w/ dressing & croutons 170
1 banana 100
1 plum 30

Lunch Calorie Count: 830

Dinner:

Chicken Casserole with eggplant and squash 600
1/2 cup ice cream 110
1 glass orange juice 110

Dinner Calorie Count: 820

Daily Total: 2,290..... not even close and I felt like I stuffed my face today.  This is going to be a challenge because I am not just going to eat empty calories, I feel like that would be worse.
Well... challenge accepted!

My Aquatic workout class was wonderful and now I feel completely relaxed and energized.  Time for squats and leg lifts and crunches.  I'm counting on all of you to hold me accountable!

~Steph

The Poop Ninja Strikes Again!

The little pooper is dead asleep on the bed next to me as I write this.  I am dying because this little girl just gets funnier by the day.  Ken and I are having so much fun and I think we both feel that the exhaustion wouldn't be so bad if Ken wasn't working nights.  Being by myself at night is NOT fun.  Penny and I do just fine for the most part but some nights are hard when she won't stop crying and Ken's baby-whispering skills are not there to lull her back to sleep.  Plus, Ken is working his butt off all night long and then has to come home and fall asleep with the sun streaming in the window all day long (we have black-out curtains but we have corner windows and are struggling to find curtain rods that fit.)  Well, enough complaining about exhaustion, that seems to be the number one topic of all other parents so I will try not to put too much time into that complaint.

Ken and I have dealt with many a "poop-splosion", but I think this was one of the funniest.  I was rocking Penny and she was just content in my arms.  I went to hand her to Ken to have him hold her and he puts his hand on her back and into a huge poop-spray.  Of course, not a single drop got on me (yay!).  Ken and I rushed into poop clean-up surgery and changed her diaper and cleaned her back-- both of us laughing our butts off.  Penny just looked so content the whole time.  I'm sure she was happy to get rid of that!

We had our family photo shoot yesterday evening and it went SO well!  I can't wait to share the photos.  I am hoping to see them soon.  Penny was a total trooper, especially since earlier that day we visited City Hall to let my coworkers meet her.  She was passed around to everyone and only cried a little bit (mostly because she was hungry).  We then went to my parent's house and hung out there until the photo shoot and we then we slept over there afterwords.  It was Penny's first night away from home and she did beautifully!  She only cried when she was hungry and then ate and went back to sleep.  So nice to get a few practice rounds in before we head up to our family reunion in late July.  Then, this morning, we had the graduation of the preschool class that I taught and Penny was a trooper through that entire business as well.  The kids were so excited to meet Penny and the parents were so sweet too!

The little one is starting to stir... I am guessing she is going to be hungry.  I am blessed that I have such a good eater!

I will update more soon!

Love,

Steph

Here are some funny pics of Penny!

 Naky Butt (she peed on Ken 2 seconds after I took this photo)

 I was just trying to get a cute photo of her in her swaddle and snapped this gem.

 Just remember, you're a rockstar.

Finally caught a smile on camera!!!

Father's Day: A Look Back

Ken had his first Father's Day!  Penny and I took advantage of his business to make him a father's day gift.  It turned out so cute and made me realize how big Penny's feet are getting!  She held so still while I painted her feet and put them to the paper.  I think she new it was a gift for daddy.

Penny and I took Ken to a great restaurant in Redlands called Dhat Island.  They have Jamaican food that is to die for.  It was a fun day, even though we were both exhausted, Ken from work, me from lack of consistent sleep.  I guess every day is Father's Day now, at least for Ken.  He just loves spending time with Penny and playing with her.  They are quite the pair.  I think I am going to have to make a photo album full of just pictures of them sleeping.  She sleeps so well with him and in all different positions.  She will only sleep on my chest.  I am going to have to remember to continue to take these photos as she gets older.  Of course, I have added some more awesome sleeping photos of the two of them... Enjoy!

 I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks dad is weird!  It's clearly written all over her face.

 Catchin' some much-needed ZZZzzz's

I am so lucky that Penny has a Father like Ken.  I know he shows most people his goofy personality, but I get to watch him be so sweet and gentle with his daughter and it is such a blessing.  He is such a wonderful dad!

90-minute Sleep Cycles: Saving Lives Everywhere

Ken and I, prompted by my wonderful mother, decided that we needed to try this new patter of sleep with Penny.  It is called the 90-minute Sleep Program and it is honestly incredible.  I am about to sound like an infomercial, but if you have a baby that just isn't sleeping well, just give this a go for a day (or a week if you are feeling really daring).  It is pretty darn simple.  Whenever your baby wakes up during the day, start a timer.  After 90 minutes ( or a little bit earlier) observe your child's sleep ques and start putting the to sleep.  Let them sleep as long as they want.  Rinse and Repeat.  No, I'm serious, not about the rinsing, but about putting them to sleep after they have been awake for 90 minutes.  I have literally watched Penny go from a crying "fussy" baby, to a sweet, alert, active baby in one day.  She now cries for maybe 30-45 minutes a day, not at a time, I mean TOTAL for the whole entire day and night.

I had not realized how much I was unintentionally overstimulating and sleep-depriving my baby.  I thought that all babies just cried like that but I was wrong.

Here are my only frustrations with it: Other People
I don't think I will ever understand why people want babies to be constantly awake.  All I hear is "Wake up Penny!  Wake Up!  You sleep too much!"  And I want to scream!  She is a baby!  Babies are supposed to sleep 18 hours or more a day and no, they are not supposed to be awake at your beck and call.  The thing that gets me the most is
1. Parents who have children and still don't understand the importance of sleep for babies.
2.People who want your baby to wake up and then when they do and they cry, they immediately hand them back. I want to say to these people, you chose to wake them up, now you fix it so that you can understand what we and the babies go through when naps are interrupted. I would never tell them that of course, but I think every single mom honestly feels that way.
3. People (parents included) that expect babies to be on their schedule.  You will fail every time if you think the baby will conform to your schedule.  It's better to accept that they are in charge of your schedule pretty much from here on out.

This is mostly said in good humor, but it is honest as well.  Sorry for the rant!

For my moms-to-be, just something to keep in mind!  Trust your momma bear instincts and protect those nap times and avoid over stimulation.  Your baby will thank you and you will love yourself for doing it as well.


Penny Update: Penny is just more incredible by the day.  She is starting to babble more and makes the cutest noises.  And... drum roll please... she started smiling at Ken and I!  She also smiled for her Nana (my mom) and her Lolo and Lola (Kens Parents).  It just lights up her whole entire face, I love it.  Watching her discover the world is absolutely wonderful and such a gift.

 My mom with Penny when she first came home.

 My brother with Penny when he came to visit last week.  She loves her Uncle Chris!

Bath Time like a boss.

Happy Almost Father's Day, all!

~Steph

 

He's a Natural

I have never seen someone take to fatherhood as quickly as Ken did.  One of my favorite things in the world is watching him with Penny and knowing that she will be so protected by him. She is a lucky girl.  Just when I though I was going to lose it from exhaustion the other day, Ken comes in with about two hours till he has to go to work and takes her from me and says "Go take a nap".  I didn't argue, and when I woke up two hours later, he was at work and all of the dishes had been washed and Penny was asleep in her bassinet. I am so grateful that I have him and Penny is too!  Not only does he provide for us by working hard at a demanding job all night long, he still has the energy to come home and be with us and care for us.  I am looking forward to the future (I am anticipating many more posts like this one!)

I get the best pictures of the two of them, especially when they are both sleeping!

 Week 1

 Week 2

 Week 3

 Week 4

 No DNA test needed!

Love,
Steph

Baby Burps, Moby Wraps, and Bringing Down the House (almost)

Oh man.... where to begin?  Well, I learned that I was not burping Penny for long enough at all.  I thought, "oh, if she doesn't burp in 10-20 seconds, she must not need to burp!" Wrong.  Sometimes it takes 5 minutes for her to burp.  I also didn't even think to burp her throughout the day and before she eats.  BUT, now we are able to avoid a lot of crying due to gas with those little tricks.  So, again, I am counting this a victory!  Plus, I am sure she is now feeling a lot better.  She does these cute little resigned sighs while I am burping her, almost as if she thinks that the burping is annoying but she knows it is necessary.  She is a lot less fussy now and seems a lot more content :).

Moby Wraps: My new best friend.

I am new to this thing called "baby wearing" but it is slowly becoming my favorite.  I was becoming frustrated that I had to spend half my day trying to get Penny to sleep in her bassinet so that I could get a few things done.  She wasn't having any of it and I wanted her to be near me too.  Enter: The Moby Wrap.  I was NOT enamored the first few times I tried to get the wrap to work.  I felt so awkward and I couldn't get it tied correctly, regardless of how many repetitive youtube instructional videos I watched.  Finally I realized that I was not starting the wrap high enough on my waist.  Bingo!  Now I can take the little penguin with me wherever I go.  The even better part?  I can use it until she is 2 years old!  I absolutely love my Ergo for hikes and long walks because the support that it gives me is irreplaceable. However, I found when I was wearing it and trying to eat, it extended too far out and I was struggling to see my food and the tasks I was doing.
So, my recommendation?  Get a Moby Wrap for home when you are able to sit down and take rests but need to have a little more space to move around with. But, also get an Ergo for when you want to take walks or go on hikes so you don't kill your back.

Bringing Down the House

So, I almost burnt the apartment down.  Nobody panic!  I'm exaggerating.  However, our house did get a bit smokey.  Ken and I were planning on having Ramen for dinner and so we were boiling chicken bones and mushrooms to make the ramen broth.  Ken got it all set up in the morning before going to sleep (he had just gotten home from working the night shift) and all I needed to do was watch it and turn it off when it was done cooking down.  Well, I took the little one in to breastfeed and next thing I know I've fallen asleep and was awoken by the smell of burnt chicken bones.  I rushed out to find our dinner ruined and the ingredients cooking away onto the bottom of the pot.  I felt stupid and frustrated at my sheer exhaustion, but I immediately started remaking the ramen even though I had to fudge on the broth a bit.  I think this event could probably be listed under Things I say I'll never do again but probably will.

Penny in the Moby Wrap.  She loves it!

Ken teaching Penny how to play the guitar... with her feet?

Penny is 1 month old!

Things I Didn't Know Were Possible

Penny has now earned the names Poop Houdini and Vomit Ninja.  

And now for a list of things I didn't know:

I didn't know it was possible for a baby to poop so hard that it would squirt up and out the top of her diaper and onto you.

I didn't know that a baby would be able find a way to get throw-up on your face while you were trying to change said diaper.

I didn't know that a simple daily walk can change you whole perspective on a situation. 

I didn't know that I don't know myself half as well as I thought.

I didn't know how challenging parenthood would be.  

I also didn't know that it would be the most fun I've ever had.

This list will probably expand on a daily basis.

My husband and I were talking last night and he summed up parenthood pretty darn well. "It is a lot of fun, but it is NOT easy."

I have set a few new goals for myself as a mom (and most likely I will fail at these most days but that is okay)

1. To go on a daily walk with my daughter.  I have begun doing this and it has made a huge difference for me.  I have not been given the green light to work out yet, but I am so excited to get back into running.  The little bit of exercise makes a huge difference in how I approach my day.

2. To have fun cooking and planning dinners.  I am getting better at cooking! I know how to cook but I am learning to diversify my dishes more and it is becoming more fun. Ken is already a great cook and loves experimenting, I struggle to let go of the recipe sometimes.

3. Do little things every day to keep the house clean.  This is not my favorite thing, but man, it makes me feel a LOT better.

I am slowly getting more into the groove of this parenting thing and it feels really nice to get my confidence back after a month of doubting myself.  So, for my pregnant and new mom friends- don't doubt yourself!  It will only make things more difficult.  You have what it takes.

Love,

Steph

Here are some pictures of the short hike that we took Penny on.  The trail wasn't that great, but the views were pretty and the weather was wonderful.

 The reluctant hiker.

 The hiking selfie (Penny is in the Ergo that Ken is wearing).

Penny has my feet! 

Gratitude

My mom has been coming up to stay with us about once a week to help Ken and I with the baby.  I know she loves being with us and being able to be with Penny and see her grow, but I don't think she will ever understand how much she does for us.  Ken and I are always so excited for when she comes because we love seeing how much care and love she shows Penny.  It's nice sometimes to just have a moment to sit and watch someone else shower love on your child.  Especially in such a gentle and patient way.

There is no denying that it takes a village to raise a child.  My friend once said to me that there really should be at least four people raising one child, but nowadays it ends up being more like four children to one adult.  I am so blessed that I have my mother to come and help us with Penny.  I would hope that she understands how much it means to us and there is really no way to pay her back for everything she has done.

I have been attending a breastfeeding circle every Wednesday morning with a wonderful group of women.  We get together to talk about our struggles and triumphs with breastfeeding, but we also talk about our struggles and joys of motherhood as well.  I am grateful to have other mothers with newborns to talk to and discuss things with.  It has bonded us and we all draw from each other's strength.  Without that group and my mother, I know I would feel very lonely since Ken has gone back to work.  I really value the relationships that I have with them and I am excited to watch all of their children grow as well.


Penny Update:

Penny is 3 weeks and 4 days old today!  She is astounding us every day with her strength and has really turned a corner as far as adjusting to this world goes.  She now has many wakeful, alert periods during the day where she is just happy to sit in our arms and discover the world.  My mom and I went on a lovely walk to Stater Brothers yesterday with her to grab a few groceries and she did so well!  She can get a little fussy in her car seat but was such a trooper for our walk.  I really want to take her on a short hike today in the Ergo (Thank you Uncle Steve and Aunt Gina!! It is such a lifesaver) but I think I might be pushing it for my body.  My back is still recovering from the short walk yesterday.  I am excited and nervous to start training for the Spartan Race again but I know I am basically starting from square one fitness wise.  But, maybe this is a beautiful opportunity to start from scratch and really train the right way from day 1.  Three more weeks until my doctors appointment where I get the okay to start working out again.  I can't wait.  Until then, I am taking advantage of Penny being heavy and giving my arms a workout.

I am excited to have the rest of the day ahead of me and I am thankful to my mom for giving me time to write this post.  Now it's off to feed the baby!

Gratefully yours,

Steph

 Tummy Time on daddy's back!

 Falling asleep in the car seat mid-cry.

My little love-bug.