What doesn't get done...

My mom is one of the mot incredible women I know, so you will continue to see her words of wisdom on this blog!  I have a new motto this Christmas season and I have her to thank for it.

I was rushing around like a mad woman, trying to prepare for hosting my very first cookie exchange (a tradition that my mom had started and that I wanted to continue).  It was the day of the exchange and I had almost everything done-- except that the house was still a complete mess and I had yet to bake any cookies for said party.  Sensing my stress, Penny decided to reflect it by not wanting to take a nap and needing to be held (completely my fault, and I knew it).  Let me tell you, it is nearly impossible to clean or bake holding a baby.  I had been up until 3 am the night before getting everything ready and making small gifts for the ladies at the breastfeeding support group and was running on almost empty.  My mom texted me at the perfect moment and said, "I will be thinking about you all day.  Have a blast and remember: What doesn't get done wasn't supposed to."  I immediately stopped, took a deep breath, said a prayer, and let go of everything.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  Because really, I was having mommy friends over, who all completely understand what it is like to have a baby and be trying to do everything.  And honestly, the cookie exchange was a total success , thanks to the help of Veronica and despite my cookies turning out a complete mess.

The cookie exchange was such a great reminder for me about what is important this season. It's not about the cookies or the gifts or rushing around to make everything perfect, it's just about celebrating all of the wonderful people in your life.  I am so thankful for my mommy friends, that show me new depths of love and compassion, and all of my friends who have been with me through thick and thin and are always there to catch me.

Remember this Christmas, that whatever you are rushing around trying to finish, it is not as important as the people in your life.  I'm making it a goal that every Christmas season will be stress free and that I will stay focused on God and his love and mercy.

Have a very merry Christmas everyone!

An Open Letter to Dr. Caruso

Dr. Caruso,

It is time.  Time to tell you how I really feel and have felt for quite a while.  I was never treated with respect by you.  You tried to scare me with stories of natural births that had gone wrong and laughed while telling their stories as if it were ridiculous to even hope for .  I told you I wanted to birth without pain medication and your response was “Well, if you are screaming and tearing down the curtains, we will give you something for the pain.”  The funny part?  The only sound I made during labor was when I pushed my baby’s head out of my vagina.  When, I asked you about a doula, you defensively responded “Your husband is your greatest coach.”  My husband is fantastic, but he is new to childbirth as well!  How is he supposed to advocate for me and coach me and keep me sane all while I'm trying to squeeze his hand off and he is trying to stay awake after being up for 60 hours straight?

 You constantly berated me about my weight saying you were worried about my health and how I was going to be able to lose it after the baby came.  I am athletic, and I know how to work out and I eat healthy.  I don’t appreciate that you made me feel like I am hurting the health of my baby by gaining 35 TOTAL pounds while pregnant (This is even within the accepted range!).  I didn’t appreciate your looks of pity and constant replies of “looks like it’s going to be a big baby. We are going to induce you if it looks like more than 9 lbs on the ultrasound and we will talk about c-section if the baby looks too big.”  You made me cry after almost every appointment, but that one was the worst.  I wasn’t even going to be allowed to try a natural labor simply because of the size of my baby?  I would sit in the car with my husband and weep because you had made me so stressed out about my baby’s health.  I had an almost completely normal pregnancy, minus the polyhydramnios.  I was not high risk, my baby was healthy and so was I.  However, after my glucose test came back normal, all you could say was “It’s only because you are young that you don’t have gestational diabetes.”  Basically assuming that I ate horribly and didn’t care about my or my baby’s health. 

I finally took back a smidgen of control when I decided NOT to go to an unnecessary ultrasound.  Your response? “We need to get you in immediately to see the size of the baby.”  I told you I didn’t care about how big my baby was.  I went to the ultrasound and was frantically told by the high risk ultrasound doctor that I should be induced that day or a few days later at the latest because of the excess fluid.  I was only 38 weeks and 5 days.  After 33 hours of labor with no pain medication and Pitocin,  I pushed my beautiful baby girl into the world with no problems (despite the resident’s lack of faith and wanting a c-section for me).  And what did you ask me at my 6 week appointment?  “How big was she?” I responded with 8 lbs 5 oz and you said “Aren’t you glad we didn’t wait any longer?  She would have been too big!”  So now I wonder all the time, did you induce me because it was absolutely medically necessary, or was it because you wanted to be the one to place my cervadil and didn’t want me to risk birthing a “big baby”?  

I’m still healing from the care I received from you.  The nurses I will leave out of my critique because they were supportive and incredible.  But a lot of my birth story still holds anger and resentment for me, instead of power and strength.   I am taking back that power right now because I deserve it, and so does my next baby.

Now I get to tell you the good part- I’m choosing homebirth for my next baby due in April and my midwife is incredible.  I ultimately have to say thank you because, without your poor care, I would not have had a reason to find a better option for me and my family.  I will be in full control of my birth and I have educated myself on the dangers and joys of homebirth.  I am not stepping into this birth blindly the way I did with my first.  I put my trust and faith in you and you failed me as my care provider.  I have learned so much and I am so lucky to be supported in my choices by both my family and my husband.  I didn’t know that it was possible to be excited about labor!  I can’t wait to birth my baby and I am at peace with however my birth story turns out because I know I will be given the chance to have a completely successful natural birth.  If this does not happen, my birth will still be beautiful because I was in control and empowered to make my own choices with the guidance of my midwife. 

I wish you could experience natural homebirth, at least by attending one, so that you can see what you are doing to women in the hospital and what you are missing out on.  I feel sorry that you have been jaded by bad experiences and no longer believe in wholesome, natural, or women-empowered childbirth.  I hope you can heal from the traumas that you have seen at the hospital births and have faith in women and their bodies again.  I pray you get to experience your own healing births through women who experience joy in labor and childbirth.  Then, there will be no more fear for you, only faith in your skills and knowledge that women are capable and have the strength to face challenges for the health of their babies.  You can make a huge difference in childbirth, I just wish you could see it.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Palaad

1 Month Later...

Of course, in my last blog post, I promised to write more often... that obviously hasn't happened!  I am now 4 weeks into school, which is the main reason for my lack of writing.  Penelope is now 4 months and 2 weeks old!  She is an incredibly talkative little girl and loves to make sing-song noises to herself in her crib when she is supposed to be sleeping.  I am so in love and I know Ken is too!  He has so much fun playing with her and it is incredible watching their relationship grow.  I could not as for a better husband.

We have discovered that Penny loves the violin!  Ken played it for her the other day and she was totally enthralled.  He has also played the guitar for her which she loves, but she was truly fascinated by the violin.  I am almost 100% certain that she will be a musical little girl... at least if her parents have anything to say about it.  I sing to her constantly, probably more than I talk to her, and we have fun making up songs about everything from burping to changing diapers.

The heat here has been overwhelming, but that hasn't stopped my fierce group of mamas from completing our weekly hikes!  We just drag our butts out of bed earlier and earlier to avoid the heat and give our babies some much needed outdoor time.  I am more and more certain every day that babies are not meant to be inside all day.  Penny just loves seeing the world around her and the grocery store has become an especially fun trip for her.  The colorful foods on the shelves keep her entertained.

Penny has also begun grabbing for things.  She loves grabbing my hair, but luckily still lets go when I ask for it back.  When she sees me eating or drinking and it is about time for her to eat as well, she starts to get really upset.  I think she is finally understanding the association of food.  Ken and I have been experimenting with giving her the tiniest little tastes of things and she has liked everything so far... especially Nana's red sauce!  She also loved gnawing on my plum, I think it felt good on her gums since she is teething.

Oh man... so many things to update!  This time I mean it when I say that I will update more.  It gives me a reason to procrastinate on school work at the very least.

Here are a few pics of Penny now:

 Sittin' in the bumbo...

 Chillin on her play mat...

 Taking an afternoon snooze... wish I was her!

 Rockin' the shades!

 Wondering why mom has such a weird face...

 Getting a bath from Nana...

Dat curl though...

Long Time, No Blog

Having a baby is no joke... obviously.  It has been difficult to get back to writing the blog when every day is so full.  Penny is incredible and can already roll from her tummy to her back and from her side to her tummy!  She is getting stronger every day and I am trying to soak up every minute.  She is now 3 months and one week old and it is crazy how time is flying.  I have decided to let go of my job at the City of Newport Beach.  I need to spend more time with Penny, and I also want to be able to pursue other things and finish my education.  I have been with them for so long, it is going to be an interesting adjustment but I think I am ready.  I start school again in just a few days and I am interested to see how things are going to change with the extra workload.  A lot of my mom friends are going back to work soon and I am always thinking about them.  It would be extremely difficult for me to leave Penny to go to work, and I think they are incredible to be continuing their careers and raising a child!

My training for the spartan race is going well.  I haven't been doing much running, but I am committed to working out at least five times a week.  It should be an interesting race. 

I am going to keep it short for now, but there is more to come soon!

 Pool Time!

 Slowly starting to like the bumbo.

 We love our Giraffe!

Tummy time has turned into roll over time.

The Day I Became a Cloth Diaper Addict

The day has arrived.  I am officially addicted to cloth diapers.  I can't help it, I have simply fallen in love.  I am always thinking about ways to improve the cleaning process and have officially set up a clothes line in the back yard.  If you are wondering about cloth diapering-- just do it.  Gone are the days of diaper pins and hand washing in the toilet.  Now, the diaper covers are adorable and the more you do it, the better you get at getting them clean and making the process efficient.

I had wanted to do cloth diapering from the beginning of the pregnancy and I am so glad I stuck with it.  We had a period where Penny couldn't wear the cloth diapers because she had a small diaper rash due to her thrush and it killed me to watch our trash can overflow with diapers every day.  It was more disgusting than washing them out and made me feel guilty about what I was putting into the environment.  To be honest- if you can't handle poop, don't have a baby.  Washing out her diapers takes about 30 seconds for each one (about 5-7 diapers a day) so really I am only spending an extra 5 or so minutes a day on them.

And the best part? At least for my family overall... we are spending about $500 TOTAL on all our diaper needs for all of our kids.  If we had three kids, all using disposables, that total would be around $4,000 or more. That is a down payment on a new car.  So, yes, I love cloth diapering.

Penny's diapers line drying

Enough of that... for now at least! :) On to a Penny Update

Sorry for the days of silence.  We had Ken's younger sisters over to stay for a Wednesday and Thursday and it was so fun having them!  They helped us put our backyard together (it is still a work in progress but much improved).

The new section of our yard!

 Later in the day, Suzanne and I went for a much needed swim.  Ken, Monique, and Penny joined us later and Penny dipped her feet in for a few minutes in her adorable bathing suit and hat (Thanks Pat and Ashley!).

We spent the morning of 4th of July with our friends who were having a little welcoming party for their new baby.  It is SO much fun to be around other babies and new mommies.  They are all so adorable and you can feel the love pouring out. Penny was held by my friends mother and fell asleep almost immediately.  She definitely knows when a mother is carrying her!  Then we headed up to Lake Arrowhead to walk around the lake.  Penny was a trooper in the car but we only made it to Running Spring before deciding to turn around because it was pouring rain!  There was a thunderstorm and it was pretty fun, but not conducive to a relaxing walk near the lake.  We headed back down and made dinner at home and had a quite evening.  We are going to save the firework shows for next year when Penny can actually enjoy them.

I will be back to the grind tomorrow with my runs so I am savoring my last hours of rest day.

Hope everyone had a safe 4th!

Steph

76 Days to go & GO USA!

I will keep this one brief because the game is coming on and I have to go grab the laundry before it starts.  I went on another run this morning, this time I went 1 1/4 miles woohoo!  (sarcasm intended).  I keep getting down on myself for the distance but I can feel myself getting stronger and my muscles are sore constantly.  I keep a mantra in my head when I hit the hills and I have to walk them, "Soon you will be charging up this hill".   I also have been doing squats and different dance-type body weight exercises while I am rocking Penny to sleep.  It gives me something to do as well.  I know all the work will pay off when it comes time to get through this race and I'm glad Ken will be there with me to help push me.

USA plays Belgium today and I can't wait for the game to start.  I wanted to go watch it at a bar, but bars and babies don't always mix.  Especially when there is going to be loud cheering and yelling.  I hope you all get a chance to watch the game!

~Steph

First Run Postpartum, 77 days to go!

Wow, the time is absolutely flying by.  I am trying incredibly hard to stay on track, but the days seem to get away from me.  I did go on my first run in 11 months though!  Man, it was hard but it actually felt great.  I only went a mile, but was my goal and I am wary of pushing myself too hard too fast.

Ken is the best husband I could ever ask for.  I asked him if I could go on a run while he watched Penny and he didn't even hesitate.  He even helped kick me out of the house when I was stalling.  I felt completely exhausted the rest of the day but I know that the more I work out, the better shape I will be in and the less tired I will be in the long run.

Eating all of that food is still pretty difficult but my milk supply doesn't seem to be affected so I am not going to force food down my throat. I am not sure yet if Penny likes me working out... they say that it can make your milk taste sour after a workout.  I am just interested to see if it will affect her at all but she doesn't seem to mind so far!

As always, she makes ken and I die from laughter every day.  Today she told Ken loud and clear that she does not like being held high in the air.  She had the saddest face and Ken and I couldn't stop laughing.  I think it still amazes us the way she is able to communicate with us. Her little baby coos and gurgling is so adorable and we love having conversations with her.

 Wearing Daddy's shirt.

Chillin like a villain on the couch.

Love,

Steph

Commitment

My best friend told me today that she checks my blog for a new update every day so I have decided to try to commit to writing every day.  After a busy day like today, it is difficult but I also love being able to share Penny with all of you.

I have decided my daughter is incredible.  She is already able to hold her head up on her own and can even turn her head to look at things.  She has started to make those adorable baby noises that make your heart melt and her smile makes you feel like the most important person in the world.  If you asked me right in this moment, exhaustion and all, I would say that being a parent is the most incredible thing in the world.  I hope I keep this mindset through all of the challenges that we may face in the future.

I have heard that there is a research study that suggests that people with children are less happy than their peers who do not have children.  I am going to completely disagree with this study, but I have to admit, I probably would have agreed with it a few weeks ago.  I think the biggest adjustment you go through as a new parent is the death of your old life.  It is so strange having to suddenly have another human being constantly attached to you, and it can be incredibly overwhelming sometimes.  In the first few weeks, I would sometimes sit and think about how my life would be at that point if Penny wasn't with us yet.  I wouldn't long for it per se, but I definitely figured that it would be easier.  Now?  I feel like my life is perfect.  And by perfect I mean that I have never been so happy in my life.  Penny is the best blessing I could have ever asked for.  You have to let these other "what if" questions die before you can allow yourself to truly enjoy the life in front of you.  It is okay to imagine what it would be like, healthy even.  It lets you compare and recognize what truly makes you happy.  I was content with my job and my freedom and my responsibilities.  Now I am joyful, love-filled, and more happy than I ever thought I could be.  THAT is what makes people with children happier than their peers.  Yes, life is definitely more difficult, but is it better? Heck, yeah.

I don't think everyone will completely agree with that, and I don't think everyone should.  Some people simply don't want to have children and that is totally fine.  If you don't want kids, don't let anyone tell you that you need to have them.  It is a lifelong commitment and if you don't want it, it's better not to just do it for other people.  For those of my friends who are yet to have kids, I am so excited for you.  My mom kept saying to me "honey, this will pass" when things were difficult and she was right.  Now, I am just trying to savor every single moment of my life with her because, cliche as it is, it is going WAY too fast.

Ken and I went on an awesome hike yesterday morning... or should I say I dragged him on a hike after he had been working all night.  We went for an hour and a half with Penny in the Ergo and she slept the entire way!  Like I said, she is awesome.  Oh and crying? Pretty much a thing of the past.  Penny now only cries about 30 minutes a day, total.  I think this is partly thanks to the sleep program we have her on and partly just her sweet temperament.  Here is the view from the top of the hill on our hike.  There really are some beautiful places to hike in this area.

Hulda Crooks Park (79 days till the race... I am hoping to be able to run these hills soon)

Here are some more pics of little Penelope from the last couple days.  She is 7 weeks and two days now!

 Penny was happy to be in her car seat for the first time in her life.

 Relaxin' and making little curls in the bath..

 All smiles during play time.

 Ken is hiding her in the laundry baskets hahaha.  All I hear is "come find me mommy!" and I found her sitting in there.  I laughed so hard because she was just happy and chillin.

Insomnia and Training ~ 81 Days to Beast Mode

I know it was only day two, but I had to take a rest day yesterday.  My favorite friend, Aunt Flow, came back to visit and it had me down for the count.  I am hoping it is simply leftover placenta that was loosened by the exercise, but I have a feeling it isn't.  After 10 months, this was not a pleasant surprise and I was hoping it would hold off a bit longer because I'm breastfeeding but no such luck.

I am also fortunate enough to be having insomnia for the last two nights.  Basically I can't sleep until 1 am... NOT helpful when you have a little baby.  Ken is feeling the burn as well and the exhaustion keeps piling on.  We are trying to be really good to our bodies and rest when we can find the time.

Penny gets more awesome by the day. This little girl is stealing our hearts (as if she hasn't already).  She smiles ALL the time and is just such a happy baby.  We have been trying some new breastfeeding positions and found one that we both seem to like.  Penny has been a little fussy while feeding, I think due to the thrush, but we found a new position that she seems to really like and I like it too because I can hear her swallowing and I know she is getting food.  Other than keeping me on my toes by not wanting to sleep alone at night, she is simply the best.  Ken and I are having a blast watching her grow and discover new things.  She seems to enjoy her changing table the most and always smiles and makes cute noises at the little painting hanging on the wall beside her.  She is fascinated by it.  It is incredible how her whole face changes when she smiles, it is the best thing in the entire world.

The quote says "Just to be in the world with you is enough".  Love it!

My workout goals today are to do another Moms on the Move Aquatic Aerobics class and body weight exercises as follows:

2 Sets:

10 push-ups

10 single-leg raises

10 squats

10 crunches

20 seconds side plank

Stretch: Yoga Flow

Aaaand, my least favorite part of the day: logging food

Breakfast:

1 Banana 100 cal

1 peach 60 cal

Frosted Flakes w/ half cup milk 180 cal

Not the healthiest breakfast but I will do better tomorrow.  Total Cal: 340 cal

Lunch:

1 cup Greek Yogurt w/ tbsp honey 200

1 Dr. Pragers veggie burger patty 110

1 avocado 330 

1 tortilla 140

15 cherry tomatoes 30

2 cups of Spinach Salad w/ dressing and croutons 170

Lunch Total: 980

Dinner

2 Tilapia Filets 340

3/4 cup cooked rice 170

2 Veggie Lumpia 400

1/2 pack Edamame 80

Dinner Total: 990

Daily Total: 2,310... I added 20 calories, wooohooo! haha

Love,

Steph

Training: Day 1 ~ 83 Days till the Spartan Beast

I have my 6 week postpartum appointment today where I will get the "okay" to start working out again!!

How do you train for a 15+ mile race in 83 days, starting from practically nothing?  You just start at square one I guess.  Pregnancy really threw me for a loop where fitness is concerned.  I was hoping to continue working out during pregnancy but the polyhydramnios really held me back.  It was difficult walking a mile.  My knees and back ached constantly and it was a good reminder to make sure I am good to my body for the rest of my life because the extra weight put so much strain on me.  I am moving forward though.

I would say my greatest fear is getting injured.  The stakes are so much higher now.  An injury would not just spell disaster for my training, but also for taking care of Penny.  I had a nerve in my upper back get pinched the other night and that fear came into sharp focus when I realized I could not pick my daughter up, and of course I was alone because Ken was working the night shift.  Luckily, a quick call to him and he was able to run home on his break and rub my back out for me.  I am going to work on getting my core strength back so that I have a good jumping off point.

I'm going to start off slow and work my way up.  My goal is to go on at least two 1-2 mile runs this week.  That should be interesting considering I literally haven't gone on a run in about 11 months.

My workout for today:

One hour walk with my daughter in the ergo.
Mom's On the Move Aquatic Fitness class
20 squats
20 leg lifts
20 crunches

A word on the food...

I am going to log my food (mostly for myself). I have to be eating between 2500 and 2700 calories a day because I am breastfeeding and working out in order to keep my milk supply up.  I am going to be completely honest, and I never in my life thought I would say this, but it is going to be difficult to eat that much food in one day, especially with a baby needing most of my attention.  I know how important my milk supply is though, so I am going to do my best to pack my diet with healthy foods (and by "diet" I don't mean "going on a diet" I mean the food that I am eating).

I will update this throughout the day

Breakfast:

2 double fiber English muffins 240 cal
3 eggs 270 cal
1 tbsp jelly 50 cal
1 apple 80

Breakfast Calorie Count: 640

Lunch:

4 Chicken meatballs 170
1 Cup Plain Nonfat Greek Yogurt w/ tbsp honey 200
1 Bag Frozen Edamame 160
2 Cups Spinach Salad w/ dressing & croutons 170
1 banana 100
1 plum 30

Lunch Calorie Count: 830

Dinner:

Chicken Casserole with eggplant and squash 600
1/2 cup ice cream 110
1 glass orange juice 110

Dinner Calorie Count: 820

Daily Total: 2,290..... not even close and I felt like I stuffed my face today.  This is going to be a challenge because I am not just going to eat empty calories, I feel like that would be worse.
Well... challenge accepted!

My Aquatic workout class was wonderful and now I feel completely relaxed and energized.  Time for squats and leg lifts and crunches.  I'm counting on all of you to hold me accountable!

~Steph

The Poop Ninja Strikes Again!

The little pooper is dead asleep on the bed next to me as I write this.  I am dying because this little girl just gets funnier by the day.  Ken and I are having so much fun and I think we both feel that the exhaustion wouldn't be so bad if Ken wasn't working nights.  Being by myself at night is NOT fun.  Penny and I do just fine for the most part but some nights are hard when she won't stop crying and Ken's baby-whispering skills are not there to lull her back to sleep.  Plus, Ken is working his butt off all night long and then has to come home and fall asleep with the sun streaming in the window all day long (we have black-out curtains but we have corner windows and are struggling to find curtain rods that fit.)  Well, enough complaining about exhaustion, that seems to be the number one topic of all other parents so I will try not to put too much time into that complaint.

Ken and I have dealt with many a "poop-splosion", but I think this was one of the funniest.  I was rocking Penny and she was just content in my arms.  I went to hand her to Ken to have him hold her and he puts his hand on her back and into a huge poop-spray.  Of course, not a single drop got on me (yay!).  Ken and I rushed into poop clean-up surgery and changed her diaper and cleaned her back-- both of us laughing our butts off.  Penny just looked so content the whole time.  I'm sure she was happy to get rid of that!

We had our family photo shoot yesterday evening and it went SO well!  I can't wait to share the photos.  I am hoping to see them soon.  Penny was a total trooper, especially since earlier that day we visited City Hall to let my coworkers meet her.  She was passed around to everyone and only cried a little bit (mostly because she was hungry).  We then went to my parent's house and hung out there until the photo shoot and we then we slept over there afterwords.  It was Penny's first night away from home and she did beautifully!  She only cried when she was hungry and then ate and went back to sleep.  So nice to get a few practice rounds in before we head up to our family reunion in late July.  Then, this morning, we had the graduation of the preschool class that I taught and Penny was a trooper through that entire business as well.  The kids were so excited to meet Penny and the parents were so sweet too!

The little one is starting to stir... I am guessing she is going to be hungry.  I am blessed that I have such a good eater!

I will update more soon!

Love,

Steph

Here are some funny pics of Penny!

 Naky Butt (she peed on Ken 2 seconds after I took this photo)

 I was just trying to get a cute photo of her in her swaddle and snapped this gem.

 Just remember, you're a rockstar.

Finally caught a smile on camera!!!

Father's Day: A Look Back

Ken had his first Father's Day!  Penny and I took advantage of his business to make him a father's day gift.  It turned out so cute and made me realize how big Penny's feet are getting!  She held so still while I painted her feet and put them to the paper.  I think she new it was a gift for daddy.

Penny and I took Ken to a great restaurant in Redlands called Dhat Island.  They have Jamaican food that is to die for.  It was a fun day, even though we were both exhausted, Ken from work, me from lack of consistent sleep.  I guess every day is Father's Day now, at least for Ken.  He just loves spending time with Penny and playing with her.  They are quite the pair.  I think I am going to have to make a photo album full of just pictures of them sleeping.  She sleeps so well with him and in all different positions.  She will only sleep on my chest.  I am going to have to remember to continue to take these photos as she gets older.  Of course, I have added some more awesome sleeping photos of the two of them... Enjoy!

 I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks dad is weird!  It's clearly written all over her face.

 Catchin' some much-needed ZZZzzz's

I am so lucky that Penny has a Father like Ken.  I know he shows most people his goofy personality, but I get to watch him be so sweet and gentle with his daughter and it is such a blessing.  He is such a wonderful dad!

90-minute Sleep Cycles: Saving Lives Everywhere

Ken and I, prompted by my wonderful mother, decided that we needed to try this new patter of sleep with Penny.  It is called the 90-minute Sleep Program and it is honestly incredible.  I am about to sound like an infomercial, but if you have a baby that just isn't sleeping well, just give this a go for a day (or a week if you are feeling really daring).  It is pretty darn simple.  Whenever your baby wakes up during the day, start a timer.  After 90 minutes ( or a little bit earlier) observe your child's sleep ques and start putting the to sleep.  Let them sleep as long as they want.  Rinse and Repeat.  No, I'm serious, not about the rinsing, but about putting them to sleep after they have been awake for 90 minutes.  I have literally watched Penny go from a crying "fussy" baby, to a sweet, alert, active baby in one day.  She now cries for maybe 30-45 minutes a day, not at a time, I mean TOTAL for the whole entire day and night.

I had not realized how much I was unintentionally overstimulating and sleep-depriving my baby.  I thought that all babies just cried like that but I was wrong.

Here are my only frustrations with it: Other People
I don't think I will ever understand why people want babies to be constantly awake.  All I hear is "Wake up Penny!  Wake Up!  You sleep too much!"  And I want to scream!  She is a baby!  Babies are supposed to sleep 18 hours or more a day and no, they are not supposed to be awake at your beck and call.  The thing that gets me the most is
1. Parents who have children and still don't understand the importance of sleep for babies.
2.People who want your baby to wake up and then when they do and they cry, they immediately hand them back. I want to say to these people, you chose to wake them up, now you fix it so that you can understand what we and the babies go through when naps are interrupted. I would never tell them that of course, but I think every single mom honestly feels that way.
3. People (parents included) that expect babies to be on their schedule.  You will fail every time if you think the baby will conform to your schedule.  It's better to accept that they are in charge of your schedule pretty much from here on out.

This is mostly said in good humor, but it is honest as well.  Sorry for the rant!

For my moms-to-be, just something to keep in mind!  Trust your momma bear instincts and protect those nap times and avoid over stimulation.  Your baby will thank you and you will love yourself for doing it as well.


Penny Update: Penny is just more incredible by the day.  She is starting to babble more and makes the cutest noises.  And... drum roll please... she started smiling at Ken and I!  She also smiled for her Nana (my mom) and her Lolo and Lola (Kens Parents).  It just lights up her whole entire face, I love it.  Watching her discover the world is absolutely wonderful and such a gift.

 My mom with Penny when she first came home.

 My brother with Penny when he came to visit last week.  She loves her Uncle Chris!

Bath Time like a boss.

Happy Almost Father's Day, all!

~Steph

 

He's a Natural

I have never seen someone take to fatherhood as quickly as Ken did.  One of my favorite things in the world is watching him with Penny and knowing that she will be so protected by him. She is a lucky girl.  Just when I though I was going to lose it from exhaustion the other day, Ken comes in with about two hours till he has to go to work and takes her from me and says "Go take a nap".  I didn't argue, and when I woke up two hours later, he was at work and all of the dishes had been washed and Penny was asleep in her bassinet. I am so grateful that I have him and Penny is too!  Not only does he provide for us by working hard at a demanding job all night long, he still has the energy to come home and be with us and care for us.  I am looking forward to the future (I am anticipating many more posts like this one!)

I get the best pictures of the two of them, especially when they are both sleeping!

 Week 1

 Week 2

 Week 3

 Week 4

 No DNA test needed!

Love,
Steph

Baby Burps, Moby Wraps, and Bringing Down the House (almost)

Oh man.... where to begin?  Well, I learned that I was not burping Penny for long enough at all.  I thought, "oh, if she doesn't burp in 10-20 seconds, she must not need to burp!" Wrong.  Sometimes it takes 5 minutes for her to burp.  I also didn't even think to burp her throughout the day and before she eats.  BUT, now we are able to avoid a lot of crying due to gas with those little tricks.  So, again, I am counting this a victory!  Plus, I am sure she is now feeling a lot better.  She does these cute little resigned sighs while I am burping her, almost as if she thinks that the burping is annoying but she knows it is necessary.  She is a lot less fussy now and seems a lot more content :).

Moby Wraps: My new best friend.

I am new to this thing called "baby wearing" but it is slowly becoming my favorite.  I was becoming frustrated that I had to spend half my day trying to get Penny to sleep in her bassinet so that I could get a few things done.  She wasn't having any of it and I wanted her to be near me too.  Enter: The Moby Wrap.  I was NOT enamored the first few times I tried to get the wrap to work.  I felt so awkward and I couldn't get it tied correctly, regardless of how many repetitive youtube instructional videos I watched.  Finally I realized that I was not starting the wrap high enough on my waist.  Bingo!  Now I can take the little penguin with me wherever I go.  The even better part?  I can use it until she is 2 years old!  I absolutely love my Ergo for hikes and long walks because the support that it gives me is irreplaceable. However, I found when I was wearing it and trying to eat, it extended too far out and I was struggling to see my food and the tasks I was doing.
So, my recommendation?  Get a Moby Wrap for home when you are able to sit down and take rests but need to have a little more space to move around with. But, also get an Ergo for when you want to take walks or go on hikes so you don't kill your back.

Bringing Down the House

So, I almost burnt the apartment down.  Nobody panic!  I'm exaggerating.  However, our house did get a bit smokey.  Ken and I were planning on having Ramen for dinner and so we were boiling chicken bones and mushrooms to make the ramen broth.  Ken got it all set up in the morning before going to sleep (he had just gotten home from working the night shift) and all I needed to do was watch it and turn it off when it was done cooking down.  Well, I took the little one in to breastfeed and next thing I know I've fallen asleep and was awoken by the smell of burnt chicken bones.  I rushed out to find our dinner ruined and the ingredients cooking away onto the bottom of the pot.  I felt stupid and frustrated at my sheer exhaustion, but I immediately started remaking the ramen even though I had to fudge on the broth a bit.  I think this event could probably be listed under Things I say I'll never do again but probably will.

Penny in the Moby Wrap.  She loves it!

Ken teaching Penny how to play the guitar... with her feet?

Penny is 1 month old!

Things I Didn't Know Were Possible

Penny has now earned the names Poop Houdini and Vomit Ninja.  

And now for a list of things I didn't know:

I didn't know it was possible for a baby to poop so hard that it would squirt up and out the top of her diaper and onto you.

I didn't know that a baby would be able find a way to get throw-up on your face while you were trying to change said diaper.

I didn't know that a simple daily walk can change you whole perspective on a situation. 

I didn't know that I don't know myself half as well as I thought.

I didn't know how challenging parenthood would be.  

I also didn't know that it would be the most fun I've ever had.

This list will probably expand on a daily basis.

My husband and I were talking last night and he summed up parenthood pretty darn well. "It is a lot of fun, but it is NOT easy."

I have set a few new goals for myself as a mom (and most likely I will fail at these most days but that is okay)

1. To go on a daily walk with my daughter.  I have begun doing this and it has made a huge difference for me.  I have not been given the green light to work out yet, but I am so excited to get back into running.  The little bit of exercise makes a huge difference in how I approach my day.

2. To have fun cooking and planning dinners.  I am getting better at cooking! I know how to cook but I am learning to diversify my dishes more and it is becoming more fun. Ken is already a great cook and loves experimenting, I struggle to let go of the recipe sometimes.

3. Do little things every day to keep the house clean.  This is not my favorite thing, but man, it makes me feel a LOT better.

I am slowly getting more into the groove of this parenting thing and it feels really nice to get my confidence back after a month of doubting myself.  So, for my pregnant and new mom friends- don't doubt yourself!  It will only make things more difficult.  You have what it takes.

Love,

Steph

Here are some pictures of the short hike that we took Penny on.  The trail wasn't that great, but the views were pretty and the weather was wonderful.

 The reluctant hiker.

 The hiking selfie (Penny is in the Ergo that Ken is wearing).

Penny has my feet! 

Gratitude

My mom has been coming up to stay with us about once a week to help Ken and I with the baby.  I know she loves being with us and being able to be with Penny and see her grow, but I don't think she will ever understand how much she does for us.  Ken and I are always so excited for when she comes because we love seeing how much care and love she shows Penny.  It's nice sometimes to just have a moment to sit and watch someone else shower love on your child.  Especially in such a gentle and patient way.

There is no denying that it takes a village to raise a child.  My friend once said to me that there really should be at least four people raising one child, but nowadays it ends up being more like four children to one adult.  I am so blessed that I have my mother to come and help us with Penny.  I would hope that she understands how much it means to us and there is really no way to pay her back for everything she has done.

I have been attending a breastfeeding circle every Wednesday morning with a wonderful group of women.  We get together to talk about our struggles and triumphs with breastfeeding, but we also talk about our struggles and joys of motherhood as well.  I am grateful to have other mothers with newborns to talk to and discuss things with.  It has bonded us and we all draw from each other's strength.  Without that group and my mother, I know I would feel very lonely since Ken has gone back to work.  I really value the relationships that I have with them and I am excited to watch all of their children grow as well.


Penny Update:

Penny is 3 weeks and 4 days old today!  She is astounding us every day with her strength and has really turned a corner as far as adjusting to this world goes.  She now has many wakeful, alert periods during the day where she is just happy to sit in our arms and discover the world.  My mom and I went on a lovely walk to Stater Brothers yesterday with her to grab a few groceries and she did so well!  She can get a little fussy in her car seat but was such a trooper for our walk.  I really want to take her on a short hike today in the Ergo (Thank you Uncle Steve and Aunt Gina!! It is such a lifesaver) but I think I might be pushing it for my body.  My back is still recovering from the short walk yesterday.  I am excited and nervous to start training for the Spartan Race again but I know I am basically starting from square one fitness wise.  But, maybe this is a beautiful opportunity to start from scratch and really train the right way from day 1.  Three more weeks until my doctors appointment where I get the okay to start working out again.  I can't wait.  Until then, I am taking advantage of Penny being heavy and giving my arms a workout.

I am excited to have the rest of the day ahead of me and I am thankful to my mom for giving me time to write this post.  Now it's off to feed the baby!

Gratefully yours,

Steph

 Tummy Time on daddy's back!

 Falling asleep in the car seat mid-cry.

My little love-bug.