I am going to be signing off until further notice. When you hear again it will probably be from Ken or someone else on the birth team with an update. I have been way too stuck in my head today and after a perfect call to one of my best friends, Sheridan, I got the perfect pep talk that I needed to step back and reclaim my space and my mentality about this labor. It is out of my control and I have been trying so hard to control it and make it perfect for myself and everyone else. I know that no one is putting these expectations on me but myself and it is time to let all of them go. To my prayer warriors, pray that I have peace in God's plans and that I can let go of expectations and let this birth be whatever it is supposed to be. I love you all and I have really appreciated all of the calls and texts, but I will be shutting down my phone now to everything but calls to my midwife and calls from my parents about the kids. So if you get no response, you know why!
We may have this baby tonight, tomorrow morning, or three day from now, regardless, it will be exactly what it is meant to be. Much love to everyone!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Resting and Gearing Up
It has been a quiet, peaceful day over here. Still contracting and it is definitely uncomfortable, they don't go away but they've been about the same strength. I know the peacefulness will be ending all too soon so I am reveling in it. My husband is currently taking a nap and I may head that direction too. I have made a long list of small things to keep us occupied but none of them are a necessity so we may drop most of them and go see a movie instead. My mind is moving a mile a minute which makes sleeping hard so I might do some coloring and maybe get in the pool since I don't think it will make my contractions any less intense. I just really want to be mentally and physically ready for active labor, transition, and birth. I am trying to get in a more meditative mindset now since I was not able to with Pierce's birth and fought each contraction instead of working with them. It is easy to slip out of that and fight the pain instead of letting it flow past you. Hopefully I can find a mantra that will pull me through and that I can have Ken repeat when I feel too far gone.
We are going to pick up some lunch in a bit since I am starting to get hungry!
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!! We are so grateful for everyone.
We are going to pick up some lunch in a bit since I am starting to get hungry!
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!! We are so grateful for everyone.
Trying not to get too excited!
Well, I made a valiant effort to get to Olive Market but only made it up San Mateo to Fern before feeling like I wouldn't be able to make it all the way. We opted for Carolyn's Cafe because it was closer and the guy who runs it recognized me from my bad experience last time we were there and treated us like royalty! I let our server know I was in early labor and she and a few other servers were sharing their birth stories with me and they all made me feel so special. I had quite a few contractions in the short time we were there and it got to the point where I didn't think I was going to be able to finish my food so they packaged it up for me and we walked home. I wasn't planning on timing my contractions anytime soon, but with how close they were at Carolyn's I decided to start. They aren't super consistent but getting even stronger. I had a moment of fear in Carolyn's where I turned to Ken and said, "what if I can't handle the pain?" He immediately goes, "what do you mean? You've done this twice already. We can always get you to the hospital for an epidural.....hahaha" and that was the end of that conversation! I know my body and I welcome the pain. Each contraction brings me closer to having this little one in my arms.
I am so tempted to get in the pool because the weather is beautiful, but I am worried about doing anything that could slow down my contractions so i think I'll hold off for a little bit longer and get some laundry done instead!
I am so tempted to get in the pool because the weather is beautiful, but I am worried about doing anything that could slow down my contractions so i think I'll hold off for a little bit longer and get some laundry done instead!
Time to cut those Strings!
Well, I have had quite a few contractions over night and they are getting stronger! Since they aren't going away, I'm going to assume this is the real thing. It still may take all day and night, but slow and steady gets the baby! (or something like that ;). Ken and I are heading out on a long walk to Olive Market or further this morning in order to try and get this labor moved along. I've got my support band on and a cup of red raspberry leaf, nettles, and alfalfa in hand and I am SO excited. I still have a cough/runny nose. So pray for strength and healing for me and Ken who is about at the same place. I haven't started timing the contractions yet because I don't want to get ahead of myself in case they slow down. I'm keeping all of my energy focused on the positives and even if they do slow down, I know we will be meeting this baby soon, even if it is tomorrow! My labors have been very long, so I am mentally ready for the haul. I will update more when we get back from our walk! The kids are still at the in-laws and we are missing them like crazy. My parents will be heading to get them later today and take over the grandparent duties until the baby comes. I can't wait for them to meet the new little one either and to have them back home!
To my village: Feel free to cut those strings and send your intentions my way!! I love knowing that you are all following along and sending me love and strength. I can't wait for you all to meet this new baby!!
To my village: Feel free to cut those strings and send your intentions my way!! I love knowing that you are all following along and sending me love and strength. I can't wait for you all to meet this new baby!!
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Maybe? Sometime in the next three days?
Well, I don't want anyone to get excited, so I'm not posting the blog on Facebook just yet, but I've had some promising progress today. A few mild contractions an hour, but they are definitely not only Braxton-Hicks contractions anymore. My wonderful in-laws took the kids yesterday and are keeping them until tomorrow. It is so hard to be away from them, especially when they are not feeling 100% but it has been so nice to have time to rest and recuperate and try to kick this horrible flu bug. I know that they are being doted on and are being given so much love and attention which is exactly what they need right now. I am feeling better than I have the last few days and definitely well enough to handle labor if it comes to that (which I hope it will!). Today I am technically 41 weeks and 4 days which is one day longer than I went with Pierce. However, those dates were never perfect because we are basing them off of one ultrasound measurement done by my midwife. I feel more like I am approaching 41 weeks rather than 42 but my body is definitely telling me it is ready to be done.
The baby is moving and grooving in here and has been loving the time we have spent in the pool and napping the last two days. I am getting as much homework done as I can in prep for having a newborn and the house is pretty much as put together as it's going to get. I am going to go get a pedicure (the last one for a loooooong while) and hopefully the foot massage will help my contractions along. As with most women, my contractions get stronger at night, or at least they did with Pierce, so I am excited to see what the night will bring, but if all it brings is another amazing night of sleep, I will gladly take that too!
Random Non-baby related thoughts.... Ken and I went on a breakfast date to Clarkie's in Yucaipa today and the menu is almost identical to Carolyn's in Redlands. We also recognized one of the waiters working there as a guy who used to work at Carolyn's.... coincidence? Or are the owners of Carolyn's trying to capitalize on it's success? Regardless, the food was slightly more expensive but just as delicious as Carolyn's. We didn't try their "Cinnamon Streussle Muffins" which were basically coffee cake in the shape of a muffin, but I'm interested to see how it compares!
Ken got the Big Hass and I got the California Scrambler in a burrito.
The baby is moving and grooving in here and has been loving the time we have spent in the pool and napping the last two days. I am getting as much homework done as I can in prep for having a newborn and the house is pretty much as put together as it's going to get. I am going to go get a pedicure (the last one for a loooooong while) and hopefully the foot massage will help my contractions along. As with most women, my contractions get stronger at night, or at least they did with Pierce, so I am excited to see what the night will bring, but if all it brings is another amazing night of sleep, I will gladly take that too!
Random Non-baby related thoughts.... Ken and I went on a breakfast date to Clarkie's in Yucaipa today and the menu is almost identical to Carolyn's in Redlands. We also recognized one of the waiters working there as a guy who used to work at Carolyn's.... coincidence? Or are the owners of Carolyn's trying to capitalize on it's success? Regardless, the food was slightly more expensive but just as delicious as Carolyn's. We didn't try their "Cinnamon Streussle Muffins" which were basically coffee cake in the shape of a muffin, but I'm interested to see how it compares!
Ken got the Big Hass and I got the California Scrambler in a burrito.Monday, March 14, 2016
Finally- A Letter to my Husband
Dear Ken,
God made it clear to me early on in our relationship that we were meant to be together. He encouraged me to never lose faith in us, even when we struggled and I couldn't see the whole picture. Well, God was SO right (as usual). There is no one on this earth that I would rather share my life with. With baby #3 almost here, we have been on a hell of a ride and you have pulled me through every crazy moment. You have been there to deal with my anxiety and fear, always remaining steadfast and grounded, especially when I needed it most.
I know you have been dealing with a pregnant wife for three years, and let me tell you, not many men can survive what you have. Through every crazy, hormonal moment, you have showed me love and compassion. You have taught me to not take myself so seriously with your constant teasing and I will continue to roll my eyes at every ridiculous joke you make while secretly laughing on the inside.
Nothing can describe what I feel when I see you with our children. It's as if my heart were going to burst from happiness and love and yet it only grows bigger and my love for you deeper. The way you make them laugh and push their limits (and mine as well). You always encourage them and are patient beyond words. The love you show them is simply beautiful and joy filled. You never lose your temper at them, you stay calm and explain things for the hundredth time.
You provide everything for us. You work so hard and are good at your job, but not only that, you have passion for what you do. You work 8- 14 hour days and then come home and still give us all of you. You never take a break (even when I offer!) and I wish you would more often. What you give to us will never be taken for granted. I love you for working so hard for our family, but that is just the man you are. I can't wait to see you with a newborn in your arms again, using your calm presence to put them to sleep.
I will love you forever and cherish every memory we get to make together. Thank you for being my life and giving me three beautiful babies. I can't wait to see what the future has in store and how we will weather the storm together.
God made it clear to me early on in our relationship that we were meant to be together. He encouraged me to never lose faith in us, even when we struggled and I couldn't see the whole picture. Well, God was SO right (as usual). There is no one on this earth that I would rather share my life with. With baby #3 almost here, we have been on a hell of a ride and you have pulled me through every crazy moment. You have been there to deal with my anxiety and fear, always remaining steadfast and grounded, especially when I needed it most.
I know you have been dealing with a pregnant wife for three years, and let me tell you, not many men can survive what you have. Through every crazy, hormonal moment, you have showed me love and compassion. You have taught me to not take myself so seriously with your constant teasing and I will continue to roll my eyes at every ridiculous joke you make while secretly laughing on the inside.
Nothing can describe what I feel when I see you with our children. It's as if my heart were going to burst from happiness and love and yet it only grows bigger and my love for you deeper. The way you make them laugh and push their limits (and mine as well). You always encourage them and are patient beyond words. The love you show them is simply beautiful and joy filled. You never lose your temper at them, you stay calm and explain things for the hundredth time.
You provide everything for us. You work so hard and are good at your job, but not only that, you have passion for what you do. You work 8- 14 hour days and then come home and still give us all of you. You never take a break (even when I offer!) and I wish you would more often. What you give to us will never be taken for granted. I love you for working so hard for our family, but that is just the man you are. I can't wait to see you with a newborn in your arms again, using your calm presence to put them to sleep.
I will love you forever and cherish every memory we get to make together. Thank you for being my life and giving me three beautiful babies. I can't wait to see what the future has in store and how we will weather the storm together.
A Letter to Baby Palaad #3
Oh sweet baby, we are eagerly awaiting you!
Any day, any hour you will be arriving into our arms and I simply cannot wait. I imagine what you will look like and whether you will be a boy or a girl. Everyone keeps asking me what I think you will be and I honestly have no idea. I like that you will be a surprise! A great reward after labor and because I will love you either way. I have moments of fear where I think that I may not be able to handle the pain again, but then it calms and I remember that I will be bringing you into the world, and there is no pain that would keep me from having you healthy in my arms.
Your brother and sister already love you so much and you know their voices. It will be so comforting to come into the world surrounded by those familiar sounds. Your brother doesn't quite know what is going on yet, but in a few months that will change and it will be so much fun to see you interact together. Your sister, on the other hand, is so so excited. She talks about you all the time and practices her big sister skills on her dolls. I know she will be of so much help when you arrive!
Your daddy is so ready to meet you too. He wants to have another baby to love on and play with and watch you grow with your siblings. I hope that I can give you all of the attention you deserve, but I know there will be times when I am not able to and I have to forgive myself for that right now. One thing I will never worry about is how much love I have for you. After having your brother, I know that love only grows and expands, it never diminishes or becomes less by giving it to others. You are bringing more love and joy into our lives, we couldn't ask for anything else. I pray to God every day that you will come soon, but I know that it is when you and God decide that we are all ready.
I am looking forward to holding you in my arms and nursing you and soaking up every single second of your life. Thank you for existing and for coming to our family. God has a perfect plan and it is abundantly evident to me.
Little Parker or Piper- We love you!
Any day, any hour you will be arriving into our arms and I simply cannot wait. I imagine what you will look like and whether you will be a boy or a girl. Everyone keeps asking me what I think you will be and I honestly have no idea. I like that you will be a surprise! A great reward after labor and because I will love you either way. I have moments of fear where I think that I may not be able to handle the pain again, but then it calms and I remember that I will be bringing you into the world, and there is no pain that would keep me from having you healthy in my arms.
Your brother and sister already love you so much and you know their voices. It will be so comforting to come into the world surrounded by those familiar sounds. Your brother doesn't quite know what is going on yet, but in a few months that will change and it will be so much fun to see you interact together. Your sister, on the other hand, is so so excited. She talks about you all the time and practices her big sister skills on her dolls. I know she will be of so much help when you arrive!
Your daddy is so ready to meet you too. He wants to have another baby to love on and play with and watch you grow with your siblings. I hope that I can give you all of the attention you deserve, but I know there will be times when I am not able to and I have to forgive myself for that right now. One thing I will never worry about is how much love I have for you. After having your brother, I know that love only grows and expands, it never diminishes or becomes less by giving it to others. You are bringing more love and joy into our lives, we couldn't ask for anything else. I pray to God every day that you will come soon, but I know that it is when you and God decide that we are all ready.
I am looking forward to holding you in my arms and nursing you and soaking up every single second of your life. Thank you for existing and for coming to our family. God has a perfect plan and it is abundantly evident to me.
Little Parker or Piper- We love you!
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