You know how you're washing dishes (for those of you that don't have a dishwasher) and you start to get excited because the pile of dishes is slowly getting smaller and you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel? Your adrenalin begins to pump and you make that final push to the end, breathing a sigh of relief that you finally finished the dishes you have been putting off for a few days, when suddenly you turn around to look at the stove and your heart sinks, because sitting there is the dirtiest, most difficult dish to wash of all. It's sitting there because it wouldn't fit in the sink with all of the other dirty dishes. Of course it's also the largest pan you have to wash and a huge part of you wants to pretend that you hadn't seen it. But, you did, and now it is going to bug you for the rest of the day if it isn't complete.
Well, motherhood is kind of like that some days (let's be honest, it's like that most days). You look around the house at everything you need to do and start to make a checklist. Get the baby down for a nap is always #1 because there is really no way to do things when you are trying to hold your baby. After you've accomplished #1, you quickly start to fly around the house completing tasks because you know you only have two hours (or less) before you have to feed the baby again. Right when you complete your last task, you suddenly realize that there is one more thing to do but at that exact moment, the baby has woken up and needs to eat again. You get that sinking feeling because you know your last task is not going to get done that day and you are going to go to bed thinking about it. Sometimes you even decide to give up some of your precious sleep time to complete it because you know that you won't be able to sleep well without it done.
It makes me realize how much I under-appreciated not only my own mother, but mothers everywhere. I am slowly learning to let go of the little things that I cannot do, hopefully it will become easier! I know it is okay to not be able to do everything all the time, but sometimes I hold myself to way too high a standard.
I am about to head to bed for a few hours of shut-eye before breastfeeding calls again. It has been one of those hectic days, but I am thankful for my family and I can't wait for my mom to come over tomorrow. She always helps put my mind at ease and encourages me when I am just plain exhausted.
I am counting today as a victory since I was able to do the laundry, cook dinner, and wash all of the dishes. Plus hang out with my little one and my crazy husband ;)
Good night!
-Steph
No comments:
Post a Comment